Behind Infinity

Perhaps this is old news, so pardon me if I’m just behind the times (usually the case). However, I saw this for the first time today and it made me smile because in the past year or so in “Devin’s Bible Study” I’ve met people of many denominations and we’ve had ourselves umpteen good conversations about the differences between our churches and the need for less “you’re ___(insert supposed heretical denomination here)___ so you’re wrong and I don’t love you” behavior in the church. And of course we laugh and tease each other about it a lot, too. So friends–wherever you find yourself on this list, thanks for broadening my experience of what it means to be the Body of Christ.

How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

1. Charismatic: 1
Hands are already in the air.

2. Pentecostal: 10
One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.

3. Presbyterians: 0
Lights will go on and off at predestined times.

4. Roman Catholic: 0
Candles only.

5. Baptists: At least 15
One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad and fried chicken.

6. Episcopalians: 3
One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about how much better the old one was.

7. Mormons: 5
One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.

8. Unitarians: Who knows
We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, you are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, 3-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.

9. Methodists: Undetermined
Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Bring a bulb of your choice to the Sunday lighting service and a covered dish to pass.

10. Nazarene: 6
One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.

11. Lutherans: 0
Lutherans don’t believe in change.

12. Amish: 0
What’s a light bulb?